Beyond intelligence, grit, and self-control, people have the potential to change their personal characteristics. That is, people can change their personalities, thoughts, and feelings.
Scientists have discovered that people do things mainly because of the thoughts and feelings that they have — thoughts and feelings that live in the brain and that can be changed. When you have a thought or a feeling, the pathways in your brain send signals to other parts of your brain that lead you to do one thing or another.
By changing your brain's pathways or your thoughts and feelings, you can actually change and improve how you behave after challenges and setbacks. So it's not that some people are "rejects" or that other people are "bad." Everyone's brain is a "work in progress."
For example, with hard work, we can all increase our confidence in social situations, our ability to deal with difficult social situations, and develop more meaningful relationships with others.